Everyone gets angry. But people who “fly off the handle” easily may be at greater risk for heart attacks or other illnesses—not to mention the risks of damaged relationships, unfulfilling lives, feelings of worthlessness, and even trouble with the law. Test your temper with this thriving quiz, to see how much risky business there is in your life and get help before things explode.
True or False
1. I feel infuriated when I do a good job and no one in my family recognizes it.
2. When other people’s mistakes slow me down, it can upset me for the whole day.
3. When I get mad, I say nasty things.
4. I feel annoyed when I’m not given recognition for doing good work.
5. I feel like hitting someone who makes me very angry.
6. I feel stupid and inadequate in challenging situations, and I hate that.
7. I get furious when I’m criticized, corrected or embarrassed in front of others.
8. Sometimes I feel so powerless with parenting my children .
9. I often wish people who have hurt me could be punished somehow.
10. It doesn’t take much to get me mad.
11. People call me hotheaded and tell me I should calm down.
12. I blow up at terrible drivers.
13. I have a hard time forgiving others when they hurt or frustrate me.
14. I hate the way I get treated at restaurants or stores.
15. I swear loudly to blow off steam.
16. I’m a very ambitious person, so sometimes I get impatient and angry with other people.
17. I’ve been known to break things when I’m frustrated.
If you answered “true” more often than “false,” you may have a problem controlling your anger. It’s helpful to realize that underneath anger are usually feelings of fear and hurt. Understanding your deepest feelings will help you curb your anger, get along better with co-workers and bosses, improve relationships and improve your life. Here are some healthier ways to respond to anger.
1. Practice intentionally laughing at yourself or at a difficult situation.
2. When you’re really angry, remove yourself from the situation and go for a walk or do some light exercise.
3. Try to use “I messages” as much as you can instead of pointing fingers.
4. When you begin to feel angry about a situation, try to step back and figure out why you have let other people get to you.
5. Understand where your anger comes from, as well as your habit of acting out angrily, and actively trying to learn a different way.
6. Accept the fact that only you can make yourself feel anger, that it is actually your choice to feel or not feel anger.
For more healthy ways to respond to situations and people who make you angry, please explore San Diego Counseling at The Center for Family Unity.