Some young people today live in a world that goes “over the edge.” The “edge” of pain doesn’t stop them in their pursuit of eliminating boredom and creating excitement. Piercing, branding, cutting, tattoos, cosmetic surgery, reality shows, and expressive and permissive movies are now a part of the culture.
Some say that kids are more “daring” and “extreme.” I say they’re numb and dissatisfied…and pain is a way for some to remind themselves that they’re still alive. In fact, these very words are spoken by many “cutters” themselves.
Sadly, finding a kid who “cuts” (a form of self-harm) is pretty common today. A topic that 20 years ago was unheard of on the radio or in Christian social circles, is the focus of many discussions among parents and teens.
I used to think that cutting was always a symptom of a greater problem like mental illness, sexual abuse, or other crazy behaviors that sometimes fall into that category of “different.” The kind that could only be understood with an explanation of psychiatric jargon.
While some cutting behaviors can be symptomatic of psychiatric or mental illness (e.g. borderline personality disorders, bi-polar or manic depressiveness, and anxiety disorders), not all are.
Not just “crazy people do crazy things.” Kids that cut themselves come from all walks of life, all backgrounds, and from every type of family you can think of. What was once confined to mental hospitals has become a new way for teens to cope.
What is Cutting?
Simply put, it’s a self-inflicted cut or series of cuts. The actual behavior is just the symptom of something else going on in your child’s life. The fact that they “chose” cutting as the behavior to get somewhere else is because it is “available,” “acceptable” (in their world), and it is “achievable.”
All behavior is goal-oriented. Your child’s goal with cutting is to cope with whatever is causing stress in his or her life. Cutting is chosen because it’s frequently discussed at school, on the internet and other places kids hang out. Cutting distracts a teen from whatever causes the negative feelings she’s had, and give her a temporary sense of relief.
Now, you and I probably do a similar “dance,” we just dance to some different music. We go run for an hour. We work out. We go to a movie. We do whatever we do in hopes of feeling something different for a short period of time. Young people are no different. They find cutting takes their minds off of their cares.
Cutting is a serious issue that can lead to a lifetime of shame and despair. Don’t ignore a child that is going to such lengths to find relief. In my observation, most that “cut” or “scratch” have expended or tried other ways of negative coping with particular issues and are willing to do just about anything short of suicide to get through whatever they’re dealing with.
If you or someone you love is cutting, call the Center for Family Unity today to get the help you need and deserve. 619-884-0601.