How to Make Sure our Second Marriage Doesn’t End Up Like Your First

Set your second marriage up for success with these steps.:

1. Precaution: What’s the rush? If the statistics tell us you have an 85% chance of failure if you remarry less than two years after your divorce, why would we jump in so quickly?   What’s your motive?
   1. Money: if we are in love and planning to marry eventually, it would be so much easier financially if we were to join households now.
   2. I learned so much from my divorce that I know what to accept and not accept
   3. I am a much better person with this partner. The kids benefit and there is less stress for all of us.
   4. I can’t wait because……( your answers)
2. How much personal growth work have you done to ensure you don’t choose the same type of partner disguised in a different package?
   1. We suggest you attend a Keeping the Love You Find workshop to discover the patterns of connection you have made and how to discover the purpose of marriage.
   2. Divorce Care groups
   3. Personal counseling
3. Preparation:  Intentional dating
   1. Deepening the step parent/step child relationship
4. Pre-Marital education and counseling
   1. Brief, skills-based educational programs for couples increase couple satisfaction, improve communication skills, reduce negative conflict and may prevent separation and divorce
5. Possibilities:
   1. Strength based marriage and parenting
6. Priority:
   1. Being each other’s safe harbor
   2. Quality time for just the two of you
   3. Negotiate household rules and parenting strategies
7. Promise
   1. To look for the good in each other
   2. To work as a team
   3. To seek support in a crises
   4. To never, never use the D-word!